Novermber 26, 2012

These are the Days of Miracles and Wonder…

The past week has been a whirlwind of exploration. I can feel this island breathing all around me through the obvious and aggressive growth of an array of flora, the scurrying of creatures small and large, the slow and steady pace of a community expanding as the busy season picks up and, of course, the pulse of the Caribbean Sea, its waves quietly kissing the white sand and coral beaches that line every inch of coastline. As I begin to settle in here, I realize that, much like Colorado, I will NEVER be able to explore everything here. There’s too much…It’s sensory overload each time I open my eyes to look out at the sea or the more-beautiful-than-words sunset, each time the scent of jasmine or a new cuisine wafting out of an open air restaurant hits my nose, each time I hear pulsating music drifting up the hill to Asolare from Cruz Bay or the rain beginning to drown the forest 50 feet from me as it slowly moves over my head, drenching my skin.

My newfound partner in crime and I both have Tuesdays off. We are also both relatively new to the island. This makes for, each Tuesday, tumultuous activity, beginning gently by 10 am and lasting into the more adventurous hours which evening brings. Last week, we began at Hawksnest Beach, a half mile stretch of pristine sand and water, just two miles from downtown. With a kayak, snorkel gear, a 12-pack of Heineken and a picnic lunch in tow, we settled in under the shade of a palm tree for five hours of sun, sand, water and great conversation.

Snorkeling is a whole new world for me, in and of itself. For someone who has coveted a healthy fear of the creatures of the ocean my whole life, actually viewing the underwater world with bursts of sea life all around me is absolutely surreal. With the slow, steady inhales and exhales of my own breath and the distant nibbling of the fish on the reef the only sounds available for busy ears, it is impossible not to slow down and be completely at one with the visionary wonders of the creatures that reside in the deep blue waters. As the light purple fan coral flaps in the imaginary breeze simulated by the gentle currents, beautifully colored fish of all shapes and sizes scurry about their daily activities in the city of fire coral, just yards off of the beach. I swear, in my first five minutes under, I saw a curious looking blue fish that appeared to be smiling and dancing in a world all his, or her, own…I instantly related.

On this day, we swam beyond the reef, my first time to swim out of the shallows of the hustle bustle of reef life, and found ourselves in a dark, cyan water, with nothing moving except the flippers on our feet and the occasional fan coral, now 20 feet or so below us, the entire universe seemed to slow to a pace I have yet to experience in this life. Gazing gently all around me and into the unknown waters, I realized I will encounter things I NEVER thought I would even see before in the coming months or years. The end of that reef was a new horizon…One I expect to cross and, eventually, know very well.

Back on the beach, the afternoon drifted along, lunch disappeared into our salt and sun soaked hunger and we packed the remaining beer into the kayak for a late day paddle into the cove we imagined was just around the eastern point of the beach. We discovered a small patch of rock and brush, an island which we said we would conquer. I made mention that we didn’t have a flag, but that didn’t matter because, as we paddled onto the rocky shore, we realized exiting the boat was not an option. There were tiny sea urchins, hundreds of them. Their round, spiky bodies nestled in the crevices in the shallow, lapping waters of the shoreline.

We back paddled and ventured around the other side of the island to obtain a clear view of Jost (pronounced Yost) Van Dyke, a popular destination in the British Virgin Islands, the sun shimmering upon its green hillsides, covered in palm trees and innumerable amount of other species of plant life. It is a foreign concept to me, still, that all of these shores lie within reach of my own investigation.

Paddling back to shore to swim away the heat and sand that clung to my body I excitingly realized that this is my life now! I get to do these things all the time! That moment took me back to my first days under the bluebird skies of Colorado as I explored the mountains in my inaugural summer as a resident of the Rocky Mountain State. This, I thought, was a new adventure of epic proportions…One which I will gladly embrace.

 

Words to Live By:

“Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.” ~Jon Krakauer

Salt Pond Beach

“Every dreamer knows that it is entirely possible to be homesick for a place you’ve never been to, perhaps more homesick than for familiar ground.”
~Judith Therman

November 22, 2012

It’s hard to believe it has been only a week since I landed on Saint John.  This place has so quickly welcomed me and turned into more a home than a getaway.  Today, I am so thankful for the circumstantial situations that led me here.  Even the worst of them…They all led me here.  Maybe I was looking for an escape when I originally began the search for work in the Caribbean.  Maybe I was, like most people here, tired of the day to day living of my life…Of the drone and dirt of the city…Of the settling winter chill that was destined to sweep over the state in the months to come.  Maybe I was tired of dead end relationships and of people being so consumed with other people’s lives that they forgot to put their own in check.  In a nutshell, some not so savory situations led me to search for this, and today, I am thankful for them and for the people who created them.

Don’t get me wrong, life in Colorado is one of the best I could have had.  In some ways, I basically moved from one paradise to another.  I’ve transitioned from whitewater rafting to sea kayaking, from skiing to snorkeling, from hiking to swimming…For these things, and experiences, I am also thankful.

I spoke with my parents today on skype for the first time ever…That was wild.  I was transported across the miles into the living room of my childhood where we spent countless Christmas mornings opening gifts, dozens of moments scuttling amongst sisters, thousands of lazy days on the couch with mom and a book.  And my folks were shot through the world wide web into this foreign space in which I rest my head each night..Where the people are new and beautiful, but will have a tough time ever knowing me the way mom and dad have in that house where I was raised with my sisters and a rotating door of pets that dad was never happy about at first, but always caved and ended up favoring the dogs over us sometimes.  Today, for these memories and for my beautiful family, I am thankful.

And, today, as I made my way to the market and smiled in the sweltering sunshine for the entirety of my walk and as I wandered the foreign shelves of a new grocery store, realizing prices aren’t really THAT bad on most things, and as I wondered at the exotic fruits and vegetables now at my fingertips, I stopped and thought that a week ago, I never REALLY could have envisioned the potential permanency of the decision I made to move to Saint John just a month ago.  I found a place to live, I’m already embedded in my job and my creative juices are flowing.  I have yet to even begin exploring the island and the neighboring islands for their natural wonders.  I’m not in a hurry to do so…I’m actually not in a hurry to do anything.  Island time is a magical thing…I’m never moving quickly, but I’m always on time.  For these things, these new experiences, the opportunities that were given to me in order to make this journey possible, today, for these things, I am thankful.

November 17, 2012

I have never felt such a connection with the sea as I do in this lace.  I could float in the crystal clear waters for hours, hearing nothing but the mute of the underwater world and seeing only the pristine white clouds against a cyan sky.  I can’t wait for the moment when I can completely submerse myself in the oceanic realm, breathing amongst its life. 

Everything here is serene.  Everywhere I look is the amazingness of Mother Nature.  At work last night, while taking the trash out, I said hello to a curious looking iguana on my way to the dumpster and, as I left work with two newly found kindred spirits, a stampede of donkeys thundered down the road.  Now, as I write this, two black and white speckled roosters are pecking around me, wondering what I’m up to. 

As I listen to the gentle lapping of the waves upon Saloman Beach, I wonder at the fact that there are only about a dozen other people on this pristine expanse of sand, reachable only by foot via a 20 minute hike from Cruz Bay. 

Paradise is an understatement.  Surreal is my life now.  As the red beaked fowl draws uncomfortably near, looking me over with one, brilliantly blue eye…He is startled by a tourist, chasing him down with their foot long camera lens and then scampers off.

Funny, I think after a quick chat with the out of towner…Everybody here looks at me like I’m crazy when they hear I arrived by plane two days ago and am now living here. Everybody except the people who have done it themselves.  They give me a hug and say, “Welcome!  Good for you!”

Yes…I think it is good for me.

November 16, 2012

It’s frustrating that I can’t write as fast as my experiences are happening…I don’t know how this is considered “island time.”  This whirlwind of incredible-ness is happening at such a fast rate that I can’t even begin to keep up.  In the past 24 hours, I have met the woman who has made all of this possible for me by taking a chance on hiring someone she couldn’t see or interview…My island mama is how I’ll refer to her.  I lost one backpack.  Then I got it back.  Then I lost a suitcase.  Then I got that back.  Now, after just 36 hours on the island, I have regained all of my worldly possessions, dipped my head in the sparkling waters of the sea and completed a night of work at quite possibly one of the most gorgeous establishments I have ever laid eyes on.

The restaurant I’m working at is a story in and of itself.  During business hours, travelers from all over the world enter the doors of the enchanted restaurant via the winding cobblestone walkway through a flower garden and are greeted by a professional staff, a breathtaking view of Cruz Bay from a bird’s eye view and a diversified menu of land and seafood all with high price tags.  Once the last guest has exited the building, it’s a different story.  The staff, all amazing people by my standards, lock the door, pour rounds of drinks and light up…all on the dining terrace of the restaurant where, just hours earlier, a herd of Mid-Western tourists had been taking in the awe-inspiring Saint John sunset.  I looked around with a “Smash” (a cocktail concocted by a group of friends in Denver) in my hand and thought…”I just landed in heaven.”  I think I’m gonna be just fine.

November 14, 2012

Hi.  I’m Hillary.  I have spent the past eight years in various locations around Colorado and the previous 24 years in Ohio.  I would say I’m reasonably well traveled within the 48 states with an adventure to Hawaii or to London dotting my passport’s past, but, for the most part, I’ve lived in these two places for the better part of 31 years.  This year, I turn 32.  In March, I alleviated myself of a car payment.  On April Fools’ Day, I was released of my duties as girlfriend.  And, in July, I moved into a beautiful living situation with no lease attached to it near the bustling restaurant where I slang drinks to pay for my fun.

So…If you’re not getting where I’m going with this, let me spell it out for you.  Some people call it a mid-life crisis.  Some people say I’m too young to be having a mid-life crisis.  This girl right here (points thumbs at self) says that I have lived, loved, been hurt, experienced, sacrificed, laughed and raged as hard as anyone at fifty, so, for me, 32 may be a very acceptable age for what they call a “mid-life crisis.”

What I’m getting at is that at nearing 32, I’m single with no mortgage, kids, house plants, financial obligations or career.  So, it was in May that I aligned all of this.  I was in Puerto Rico for a wedding on the beautiful, and somewhat deserted, isle of Vieques.  Wild horses roamed the lush green hillsides above the perfectly crystal blue ocean waters while we picked our own coconuts and reveled in the ocean breezes.  It was at that time that I decided that my mind, soul and skin (Colorado is amazing but it’s tough on the aging process) needed a break….Needed to do THAT for a while.  So, I hopped on the ole computer and stalked service industry opportunities on craigslist.com, sending dozens of resumes each week to exotic sounding resorts and restaurants on Costa Rica, Puerto Rico and in the Virgin Islands and Mexico. 

I received several phone calls each week, inquiring as to when I supposed I would be in the islands…When could I come in for an interview.  Were these people crazy?  I wasn’t just going to uproot to the islands without an income.  I’ve never been a great “saver.”  Experience now, save when you’re dead; has always been a catch phrase for me.  Which makes me fun loving, but not entirely stupid.  I wasn’t about to get stuck on an island with no place to stay and no means to get home.  So, in a nut shell, the search continued…

Now, on November 14, 2012, it is 5pm and I am soaring 38,000 feet above Miami to Saint Thomas where I will spend the night at a Bed and Breakfast and then take a ferry to Saint John where I will tentatively begin a new chapter of life.  A new page on which to write my musings and become more myself and less how other people perceive me.  I hope to remain in each moment and revel at the sea and develop myself as a human being so that I may be that much better for the beautiful, beautiful people I have left behind in Colorado while I satisfy my curiosities.

For the moment, today, I look back, rather than forward.  I look back at the wonderful souls who helped me make this happen and know that our lives paths will continually run parallel, regardless of where we land in the physical world.  When you finally, finally, “grow up” and find and accept those people truest to your heart…The people who appreciate what you are AND what you will become.  The people who enjoy holding your hand and offering a shoulder to cry on as much as they love dancing next to you or laughing over wine.  That’s when we fully become ready to appreciate ourselves for everything we are. 

So, today, I raise this glass of wine at a height of 38,000 feet, on an American Airlines flight to a new beginning to those people I hold so dear to my heart…To those people who not only help me to grow and change and love everyday, but who also care about the person that I am right now at this moment.  Know that I feel the same way. 

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